Busy-ness

I feel SO busy. But then, everyone's busy. Am I truly more harassed than others? It's so hard to judge. I'm definitely not one of those 'I don't know how she does it' women who seem willing and able to run the world; my tendency toward hedonism and slothfulness is too pronounced. But I definitely have trouble saying 'no.' Probably this is more from fear that I'll be left out of something than a desire to do good, but I volunteer for stuff and then find myself resentful. Recently I agreed to help at a charity yard sale, clarifying that my contribution would be packing up at the end (that way, I find, I'm less likely to be late). 'Oh thanks!' wrote the coordinator. 'We start at 11:00 am. Please come early and we will tell you where you're needed.'

No! I raged (to myself). I *can't* come early! I am too busy! But so is she, I answered me; clearly too busy fully to read my message. Oh yeah? I said. (Good thing no one else was around to interrupt this exchange.) Did that coordinator just move into a new-old house that keeps springing leaks? Is she trying to unpack hundreds of boxes that seem to increase rather than decrease in number? Is she in the midst of filing for permanent residency? Does she have three school-aged children and three pets to look after, and a husband who has left the country, albeit temporarily (or so he claims)? Is she hosting a bar mitzvah in three weeks including 40 out-of-town guests to whom she hopes to show effortless and generous hospitality on a shoestring budget? Does she have to give a research paper today at a hospital in... Oh hell. Gotta go.